“Escape”

Creative Writing Short Story, October 2019

James Warden works in a spacious office on the twenty-seventh floor of a building named after the law firm he partners for. Six or oftentimes seven days a week he drives fifty minutes in a Mercedes from his quiet 8,000 square foot lake-front home to the booming downtown which holds his place of work. He is currently overseeing seven different cases but spends most of his time tending to a potential settlement with Google that is looking to be a cash cow.

It’s a Wednesday.

James pulls himself back into focus and realizes he’s been staring blankly at the three floor-to-ceiling window panels which line the eastern length of his office. Ten years into his practice, these windows have gradually become an unattended obsession of his. Every day, no matter what, James can’t help but wonder how hard it would be to shatter those windows. Tremendously difficult, he’s sure– they were built to support the outer walls of this thirty-five-story building. One inch of fortified glass separates him and this small box in the side of a building from the rest of the world. One inch of fortified glass prevents James from the whims of Earth’s gravity. This single inch of glass didn’t scare him– it frustrated him. No, it infuriated him. Countless times he has looked over at those three windows and imagined their vanishing. Ingrained in his mind is this idea which after years of contemplation feels nearly real, of him rising from his desk and walking slowly but surely to that eastern side of the office, continuing without hesitation through the end of the flooring into the open air, and plummeting to his death.

Everything has gone according to plan. Warden has everything that he’s ever wanted. After ten years of blocking out every desire, passion, or whim irrelevant to his career aspirations, he has more money and power than he could ever want or need. Hundreds of thousands in investments, a 1.2 million dollar home, four cars, three dogs, two different vacation homes, a wife and a kid. And yet, every day he loses to the authority of that goddamn inch-thick sheet of glass.

Once this routine thought process became habit, the state of his mental well-being did cross his mind. Is he suicidal? James scoffs at that. Of course not. He doesn’t think he wants to die. But after ten years of crushing, sleepless work, he’s almost positive that the walls of his office close in closer by at least half an inch each day. Jumping out would definitely give him a change of pace. Walking out those windows could be his perfect mid-life crisis, a choice with a definitive outcome that didn’t involve him having to face his reality, that he has spent the majority of his life working towards an end goal which has ultimately failed to satisfy him.

Even if he were to face this reality, what would he do? He has no passions, no secret dream jobs or lifestyles. He’s never imagined wanting anything apart from what he’s now achieved. Every movie which features the overworked businessman trope tells him that he should turn to his family and discover some eye-opening value in prioritizing loved ones, but that’s a dead end too. “Loved ones.” Is that what James had? He had met Ellie shortly out of college, and they’ve always been more of a partnership than anything else. She wanted kids and someone to provide for her, and James could be that. Their marriage was a checkmark to his list of to-dos which would bring him one step closer to the full picture of what he believed it meant to be successful. Ten years later seems a little late for two spouses to begin to get to know one another. As for the yields of their partnership, Nathan seems to be a fine kid, as far as James can tell. He’s grown over the years, he’s healthy, and he plays a lot of soccer– or baseball, one of the two. When Nathan was born, many people gushed to James about the beauty and surreal bond which results from raising a family. James must’ve missed some type of meeting or pamphlet covering this aspect of the human experience; he often feels like an actor thrown into a movie about a family of three, except without a script or character run-down explaining his backstory and emotional ties to the two other characters.

James turns his attention to his computer. There’s a document pulled up, and he knows it’s something from the Google case. As he begins to scan the document, however, all the words seem to be absolute gibberish. He looks closer and the document becomes two as his vision doubles. He may need to get his eyes checked, but James abruptly comes to a separate and more pressing conclusion. He decides he cannot be in this office, or look at another word, coherent or otherwise, of professional documents. Suddenly, James reaches a simple clarity. He cannot go out those windows and he cannot go to the strangers which he has designated as family. He needs to leave, and he needs to do it now. Where will he go? He has no clue. But for some reason, he feels the uncontrollable urge to drive. Maybe he’ll go to a beach, or the woods. Maybe he’ll find a bar and figure out what it means to fall in love. Maybe he’ll just find a sturdy pole to crash into. He’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter. He just needs to go.

James swiftly rises from his chair and crosses the room while simultaneously ripping off his tie which feels more like a noose. He barges out into the hallway and rounds the corner towards the elevator, ignoring the calls of concern from his assistant. As the elevator doors shut and James presses the button for the lobby, he notices that the overhead lights are exceptionally bright today and lays a hand over his eyes. As his thoughts race, a searing pain in his temples begins to hit in waves, keeping time with the blood pumping through his veins. Eventually it makes his body numb. He has to get out of this office. He has to be free.

The elevator doors open and James bursts out in a sprint towards the front entrance. Closer, closer, just a few feet more– but the overpowering light outside bleeds in through the glass exit and blinds him. James feels himself catch something as he loses his balance and falls to the ground. The pain in his head slowly fades away as he drifts into unconsciousness.

On this ordinary Wednesday morning, James Warden dies of an aneurysm before his hand can fully grasp the handle of the office building exit.